We often find ourselves stuck in sticky situations, agreeing to something that we dread, but deciding to pull through anyway for the good of heart. Some of us are just prone to saying “yes” because we’re just too afraid to say “no”. Here’s a little advice for the people who have a little trouble saying no:
CUT IT OUT.
Sure, it’s always good to do people favors and go out of your way for others, but it should only come to an extent. I think that many people who struggle with saying yes even when they desperately want to say no, is that they’re just too worried about disappointing others. It’s not the end of the world to want to say no to a party that all your friends are going to. If you don’t want to go, don’t go. Don’t feel obligated to do anything you don’t want to do, in fear of being looked down upon. They’ve made their decisions on their own terms, so make it on yours.
SAYING NO MEANS SAYING YES TO YOURSELF.
It’s true. No matter how guilty you may feel for rejecting an offer, just remember, that in the end, you’re saying yes to yourself. You are meeting your own needs, and there is nothing more relieving than that. It reflects self worth and it lets you feel more in check with yourself. Don’t let the opinions and actions of others create your reality. This is YOUR life, and there are only certain things that you actually CAN control, so why let others take the reigns on your decision-making?
DO THINGS THAT MATTER TO YOU.
It’s easier said than done, and honestly, it sounds silly to even say that. However, sometimes we don’t even realize half of the things we say yes to. Don’t make it a habit, make it a decision. There have been countless times where my friends urge me to go out to eat, but I had promised myself to start saving money by making my own meals. I didn’t want to leave them hanging, and I would feel like I would miss out if I pushed away the opportunity. I mean, yeah, my stomach would be very satisfied, but my bank account would definitely not be. Even the simplest decision to just say no and cook my own meal made me feel good inside. I chose what mattered to me, regardless of the thoughts of other people. Clearly, there are more serious decisions to be made than going out to eat, but you get my point.
BECOME MORE INDEPENDENT.
Saying no to things that ultimately don’t serve you, and saying yes to yourself will make you feel empowered. Don’t let the fear of being alone scare you. Learn to schedule time for yourself and spend time on what you like to do. Read a good book. I’d suggest reading You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life . It’s one of my favorite books and I’m sure it’ll inspire you like it did for me. It’s never a good thing to be too dependent on someone or something. You can’t control what life throws at you, but you can control your reaction and how you handle situations. If you are confident in yourself and confident in doing things on your own, then you will always be one step ahead of the next heartbreak, disappointment, or failure.
If there’s one thing that I would want you to take from this post, it would be to remember that your own needs matter, and they need to be met. Quit letting other people’s actions and opinions dictate YOUR decisions. I believe in you, and no matter how different me and you are, we both have a very important job:
TO LIVE A LIFE ON OUR OWN TERMS.
Ignite the spark,
Thanks for reading, xoxo.